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September 16, 2012

Nancy asks…

My room mate sucks but I need a second opinion?

Alright so this guy isn’t the roommate from hell by any means but he’s definitely not what you’d look for in a roommate. Ok so me and this guy have been practically best friends since the 7th grade (Would be a senior in college this year) and I’ve always known this guy to be whiney and unappreciative. He’s funny and likes to go out so those were his plus sides. So he was gonna get married to this really stupid ugly girl but it fell through so I let him move in with me to get away and start a new life in a new town. It’s a two bedroom apartment that I share with my brother, and he sleeps on the couch. We don’t make him pay for electricity so all he pays is about $20 for internet and $175 for rent each month. He never ever cleans up unless we ask him to, and when we he does clean it’s always half-assed. He had full benefits on his food card for a few months but never once offered to buy groceries with it but helped himself to the food we got with our food cards. He doesn’t have food card anymore since he works too much so now he just eats out all the time or eats our food anyway. Then when we bring food home he never helps us bring it up or put it away. Given he usually eats his own food that he buys (and he barely eats) but he still does eat our food and it’s just polite to help bring in groceries. He’s in a bad mood about 60% of the time so I never want to talk to him. He just sits on the couch on his lap top with his headphones on and is kinda awkward if I say anything to him. When he’s in a good mood he’s pretty cool but he’s not in a good mood enough of the time.
We recently got into a fight about fleas in our apartment. We have a cat and she got out and got fleas. My brother and I were lazy about taking care of it because it’s time consuming and kinda spendy. Then one morning he leaves a note on our whiteboard before he goes to work that says, “Will you please get rid of these fucking fleas, I feel like a goddamn tweaker”. So my brother and I were annoyed that he couldn’t just discuss it with us and that he was demanding about it. My brother texted him after he saw it and told him that he was being a little girl and needed to say it to our face like an adult. He comes home from work, slams the door, forces a very weak and obviously insincere apology and then pretty much demands an apology from my brother for calling him a little girl. Then my brother and I got pissed off and yelled at him about how if he didn’t want to be insulted then he shouldn’t be so disrespectful. So we got in a big fight about it and I basically told him that he didn’t have the right to be bossy and if he didn’t like living here he should’ve moved out a long time ago (he has had plenty of time. Hes been living with us for about a year and a half now). He makes up stupid excuses about needing money and that it “takes time to find a new place” even though he has received his tax return in the year he has lived here and barely pays for anything. He doesn’t drive and his bus pass is free so he only pays about $200 a month! Sorry that this is so long. Basically the guy has always felt like other people owe him, especially his own friends. He got drunk at my friend’s place and stomped around the place and threw a pot my friend offered him to puke into, then claimed that none of his friends support him. We definitely do.. Even though he’s a total loser we never flick him any shit (standard guy stuff) and shit I let him live with me even though he’s the worst potential roommate out of all of my friends. LET him live with me! Going back to the fight; he basically implied that since he pays rent he has a say in what goes on in our apartment. We took him in and gave him a cheap living situation and he was SUPPOSED TO FUCKING MOVE OUT!! Going back to how much of a dick he is… Here’s another example. On my 17th birthday me, him and my other friend went to a pizza place. I wanted bell peppers on my pizza but my roommate wasn’t having it. He refused to just pick them off, and regardless that it was my birthday he refused to have any part in paying for it if it had bell peppers on it. It’s not a big thing but it’s just a lot of little things, and they really build up after a while. He does a lot of little annoying selfish things like that. I could give you more examples but I’m sure you get it. My brother and I are always nice to this guy. We always respect his sleeping situation since he goes to bed real early and we’re just generally good roommates. I don’t know whether to tell him all of this stuff or just hope he moves out and never speak of it again. I’d really like some opinions on this from you guys. Thanks!

Administrator answers:

That was a struggle to read. I’d say if you are really friends with him, he should respect you. I think that he should have at least the decency to be respectful of you since you took him in. I’d say talk with him and if he still refuses to be civil with you and your brother, offer him an option of leaving the house (but give him notice). He’s not really a good friend to you at all.

Jenny asks…

My bf wants me to move out with him so ‘we can be a family.’ I don’t want to! Am I being selfish?

I am 9 months pregnant and do not live with my bf. I did live with him for 6 months but I can honestly say we get along better when we are not forced to spend every other moment together. He is also a high school drop out who is already in his 20’s. Honestly, he is not too smart academically but he knows stuff about cars. I tell him to just get his GED and go to vocational school and become a mechanic. But he REFUSES to get his GED. He dropped out as a freshman b/c he was ‘so rebellious and cool’ which led to him being VERY behind. He needs to study to pass but he is always making up some excuse as to why he cannot make time to study. He works like 7 hours a day at a fast food place then spends the rest on his bum watching tv. And he lives with his parental units. BUT HIS LIFE IS SOOO STRESSFUL?

He wants me to move in with him so he can be with the baby, but I really don’t want to. He also wants to downgrade my living conditions! He wants to move me into an old trailer without A/C b/c the rent is cheap! The only reason we were living in a nice apartment before was b/c I was working and footing the bill. I told him the only way I’d move in with him was if he got his butt in gear and actually had his GED and a better job.

I like living at home. I don’t have to pay to wash my clothes I just go to the laundry room, there is a TV with cable in every room, the fridge is always full, there is air/heat/hot water that I don’t have to pay for. NO STRESS! All my parents want is for me to get a degree. I don’t even work. I get grants and scholarships b/c I know where to find free money (for this my bf considers me lazy and spoiled). And he complains that I’m spoiled and ‘get everything from mommy and daddy’ which is just mean. I mean that’s what parents are for! And he does the same stuff too the only difference is only his dad works but a job that doesn’t require a degree and both my parents went to college and have good jobs so they can give more (not to be mean b/c I love his parents)

*and with all my ‘free money’ I’ve purchased nearly ALL the baby gear. He’s only put in $180. He put in $120 for the crib and mattress I footed the other $70 and $60 for the stroller/car seat I put in $200. And all the clothes, diapers, tub, soaps, blankets etc yeah that was me.

I am almost done with my pre-reqs for the RN program and my GPA is kicking booty. I am 19 right now and should have my bachleors by the time I’m 23. I don’t want to move out b/c I know I’ll be stressed out with 2 babys. But am I being inconsiderate? Should I suck it up and move in with him so he can be with our baby? Or just tell him that I refuse to live with him until he can man up and accept responsibility? I love him and he doesn’t cheat on me or act like a total dog when hes with me, he just acts childish sometimes and lazy and he loves me a lot too. What should I do!?
And 2 babys in the sense bf & an actual baby

Administrator answers:

him come by and see the baby until he gets a GED
and a GOOD JOB

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