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February 23, 2012

Mark asks…

help me with my life please?

okay I know this is alot…

I am 15 years old turning 16 next week.
In the past year I have moved exactly 11 times.
From Jacksonville Texas to Norman, Oklahoma to Arlington, Tx and all throughout that the triangle those three citys make. My parents divorced and my dad dragged me threw it big time. After we moved back in the same house as him we left to Oklahoma. Then he was threatening to sell the house and they had the whole divorce thing going on and my mom thought it would be smart to move closer incase she needed to act. So after we moved in he got really mad put a restraining order on my mom and that forced us to move out into a small bathroom sized camper. We lived there for about three weeks then my mom got mad and after we tried to move in and he said only I could and my mom couldnt. Well I didnt want to leave my mom alone so I said no I wanted to stay with her. So we moved back into the camper and then finally after I got really mad and cussed him out big time he let my mom and me live there as long as she didnt start anything. So after we sold the house we left and moved to a duplex in Rusk…We werent making it. So we decided to move back to Oklahoma where the rent was cheaper and my mom got paid more with walmart. After things were going good and we were living life okay and rebuilding ourselves my dad who by this time I wanted nothing to do with called and told my mom he wanted to move in with us…my mom was shocked…so was I but my moms reaction was different then mine. She was happy about it. I couldnt have been more angery that he would come back in our lives. So after a month my mom quit her job and we moved in with him in arlington where we are now.
When I was living in Rusk, Tx I went to visit him (he has joint custody) I met his new girlfriend and her sons.
Well me and him never bonded much and we didnt do very many things together besides when he wanted to go to the casinos and a very occasional (annual) baseball game.
Well he bought them a brand new big pool and he played with her son and did all that kind of stuff he didnt do with me and my 19 year old sister.
I dont get emocional about anything anymore so that didnt hurt me because I was used to him doing things with other people instead of us.
Well anyways my mom says he is trying to be a better person…but dont think I will ever see that. I feel that he has had his share of chances (they have separated a couple of times before) so why should I give him another?
I feel like I have a large security bubble around me that only trust a very few amount of people inside.

Is it wrong to feel this way?

How can I tell him that I dont want anything to do with him?

Should i want anything to do with him?

Thank all of you for your time to read this
He has changed me in every way possible… I trust anyone new anymore and I have a hard time letting grudges go now.
I dont know how to repair my life.

Administrator answers:

What do you have to lose by giving him another chance?

You’re only 16, so I don’t think you have too much material posessions or time to give him, but if you can fix the relationship, it’d be a win-win solution.

Ease in with the trust though. Just remember – once your dad, always your dad.

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