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This girl is stuck in my head. What to do?
In 2005, I lived with a couple, one a friend from the military, the other his wife, a stripper. Many of the times my friend and I would go to the club and see her, hang out, get dances, drink, you know, the usual. The first time I went to this club I noticed the girl I was most physically attracted to was this gorgeous bartender named “Lucky”, I would find out later of Jamaican and Irish decent. I never saw her out on the floor and since this place had waitresses I didn’t have much reason to talk to her (she was very intimidating). She had this rock look to her, and you could tell just by looking at her you’d either be accepted, maybe even liked, but more than likely you’d be chewed up and spit out. She just had that air about her. After a couple weeks I finally got up the courage to sit at the bar and order a drink. I go up, order, everything is fine. As I’m drinking my beer I realize I’ve never been this close to her and find myself staring a bit, just admiring her beauty. Call it cliche but when I looked at her, all the world seemed to just fall away, leaving nothing but us. I wasn’t the only one who noticed my staring, and she looked over at me with these smoldering eyes filled with attraction. I’ve noticed on many occasion how she treated her other customers and noticed a difference: It was genuine. While flirtatiously sipping on the straw in her drink, she looked up at me through her perfectly long eyelashes, and pierced my very being with her light brown, almost golden eyes.”Why are you looking at me like that?”, she asked playfully. I said, “Like what?”, my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. “Like that.”, she replied and nodded in my direction. I continued to pretend to not know what she was talking about and she asked my name, I told her and asked for her own. After the pleasantries I asked her if she was able to give a lap dance, being a bartender and all. She said that it was slow but to go wait in the vip area and she would be right over in a couple minutes and I did so. Moments later she was sitting in my lap. She said she would start the dance at the beginning of the next song, which she did. After the dance she asked if I would like another and I told her no thank you. She was getting ready to get up when I told her that I would like her to stay, I could pay for the dances and she could just sit and talk to me, and tell me about herself. I was entranced with her.. We talked and all feeling of time just slipped away. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and moved from Chicago back into Arizona, leaving him there. We talked and talked and before I knew it the lights were coming on in the club! The bouncers walked around getting all the fellow patrons out of the club and I was soon next. A bouncer tapped me on the shoulder and said, “ok bud, time to go home”. I was getting ready to get up and pay when Lucky held out her hand and told the big man that I was ok and was with her. She told me not to worry about paying her and to hold on while she changed into her regular clothes.
We drove to denny’s where we continued our conversation, the entire time I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. She looked at me as though I was Brad Pitt, like she was just as entranced as I was. I’m a man with neither low self esteem or over sized ego, but my amazement persisted still. So far she was everything I could ask for. I took her home after dinner, which she insisted on paying for. I drove her back to her apartment and as I stood outside her door we shared a long stare and she got shy and asked me again why I was looking at her like that, I told her that I couldn’t help it, we started kissing and my heart soared. After separating, we exchanged numbers and I got in my car and drove home. She called me a day later and we went to a bbq my roomie was having with guys from work. I introduced her to everyone and they were all enchanted as well, but she paid them no more attention after that. We had about 1 month of hanging out and everything was perfect, until one day. We were at her place watching tv late at night and she playfully said this was going to be the last time I saw her. She straddled me and gave me a kiss so long and hard my lips actually started to hurt. I figured she was joking and after that day she disappeared. Changed her number, didn’t work at the club anymore. After talking to one of her work friends I found out she moved back to Chicago to try and work things out with her ex. 5 years and 3 girlfriends later, I still can’t get her out of my head. I walked on air for one month and I fell in love. I found her a year ago and called her but she didn’t really respond to me, she was nice but it wasn’t genuine anymore. She had to go quickly and said she would call me later that night and never did. About a week ago I sent her a text saying happy thanksgiving and no response. What do I
Unfortunately she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to date you.
I’d go out and try to find someone new, realize that you can’t miss out on what never could have been. Besides she went through all the trouble to change her number and disappear and you still found her. She’s probably creeped out that you’re still hung up on her 5 years later.
I hope you find someone who treats you better in the future.
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